yoga art Archives - DONNA GRANDIN

White flag

I surrender, but the “white flag” does not mean I’ve given up.

Last night when I painted, I felt very frustrated with having the camera on me.

So far, I’ve been trying to angle the camera, and myself, in such a way that hopefully the viewer could see what I was painting. It is an ergonomic nightmare. My neck, back, arms all end up sore after a few hours of painting that way.

And still, it has been increasingly difficult to keep myself out of the shot. Beyond vanity, my concern is that I am at a point in the painting that I need to spend some time very close to the canvas, as I add detail. Which means if I ignore the camera, there may be long periods of just my back.

At the same time, I am also at the point where I need to be constantly backing up to look at the painting as a whole, then going in to make adjustments to value etc.

Who you are is how you paint

The way I paint is not efficient, I would not teach someone to paint this way. When I have a colour on my brush, I use it up, wherever I can on the canvas, before cleaning the brush and changing colour. Call me cheap.

And maybe also impatient. I’ve never been the kind of artist that uses small brushes and starts in one corner of the canvas working a little section until is is complete, and moving on until the whole canvas is done. Sure, it would make for an awesome timelapse video. But that is very much against my personality.

My method is more a frenzy of colour, followed by hours and hours of small adjustments, pushing and pulling until I’ve hopefully tidied up the embarrassing bits.

Re-reading that, I have to laugh at myself. Why do I feel compelled to write this stuff, and even crazier, share it with the …. umm … millions who read my blog? And I compare the tone of my writing, to a male artist friend who tags his art on instagram #acrylicgenius #artinovator. Ah, to be a male artist.

Anyway, getting back to my frustration. My studio space is crowded right now, and having the camera on a tripod directly behind me is literally cramping my style.

So these are the excuses I’m offering up to explain the white flag.

The video below might illustrate my confusion, I was adding in detail, but I wasn’t close enough to get what I wanted, and kept getting the stroke, or the colour wrong. So I went to bed.

Twenty four hours later I’m writing this blog post, to say this might be the last time-lapse this month. Unlucky #13.

Victory

It is Valentine’s day – or it was when I started writing this – and I was reminded that self-love, self-care is a very important part of finding balance in everyday life.

The 30 in 30 challenge was necessary, a defibrillator for my artistic practice. I was spending more and more time on volunteer activities, and less and less on creating art, and on my business.

The first couple of days were hard because I had to miss certain events so that I could paint, blog etc. But from the first day, my painting mojo was back.

And a week and a half into it, my priorities had already shifted. I didn’t really mind the other things that were falling away/behind while I focused on the 30 in 30.

Extremes

In the last few days though, I’ve realized that the pendulum has swung to the other extreme. Now I’m failing in other areas of my life. Not sleeping enough, reverting back to bad eating habits. Not getting exercise. Not connecting with family & friends, trying to help the kids with homework and paint/blog at the same time.

Even my to do list for the volunteer work, & my actual business, were stagnating. And we’re not even going to talk about the housework.

Valentine’s Day

So this is how I spent Valentine’s Day – I hoisted my white flag. Then I napped for 3 hours once the kids were off to school -I’d only slept for 3-4 hours before waking them up. I tidied up a bit, caught up on a bit of computer work & errands, went to my first yoga class in a long, long time. Exchanged gifts with hubby. Helped my youngest study for a science test, wrote this blog.

I have a bunch more things to take care of, so I may not end up painting tomorrow either. But I will reorganize the studio a bit to make more space for me to move about when working on this bigger (4’wide) painting.

On being an artist and a mom

We have a 4 day weekend coming up, and it would be easy to sit at my easel, and computer each day. But then the Mom guilt would kick in. Experience tells me that 50% of the rest of my family would then spend the whole time on their electronics.

My youngest would spend 50 % of his time on x-box gaming with his school friends who are at their houses, and 50% in my studio asking what he can eat next, and reading his dream journal to me, showing me the latest video he’s made using his artwork, or skits he’s acted out, & new cool apps etc. etc.

And I’ll have to wear my headphones because he’ll be watching Good Mythical Morning, or Nerdy Nummies without headphones while he’s making video game characters out of polymer clay. Yeah, I love it.

But come Monday night when the eldest wants to stay up crazy hours to complete homework, I’ll also be regretting not pushing to get us all out of the house, socializing, being active.

Balance

When I started the 30 in 30 I was not trying to create a painting every day, or to sell more paintings, or become a daily painter. I just wanted to re-activate my painting mojo, and build some momentum as I start a new series of paintings. And to try making time-lapse videos.

I feel that that ball is back in the air now. And the real goal is balance.

The 30 in 30 is a great accountability tool, but you have to make it work for you. It is important to know when to shift, adjust, pivot, to wave the white flag etc.

So, I’m going to follow my intuition, but I’m not going to make any promises about when next I’m going to post, what I might post etc.

Journey

I will say that “Journey to Self” is a self-portrait, even though I am not the figure in it.

It is the starting point of a body of work which for now, I will call FLOW. And turning the camera off will give me the freedom I need to explore and develop this work.

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Tease

Yes, I’m being such a tease, showing you parts of the canvas in these wip photos. Partly it’s because this painting could take me 2 weeks to do, and it would get boring if I didn’t try to show you something different each day.

And partly it’s because I’m hoping for a big reveal once the painting is done. I hope the photographer who took the original photograph, Dani Devaux, will like the finished painting. But this is not a commission, so I could still interpret it how I want.

For example, so far I have not been concerned with catching the likeness of the model. And I’m thinking of having her eyes closed in the painting, though they were open in the photograph.

I think the closed eyes suits the peaceful environment and meditative pose.

My addiction

Late start today, even though I slept well, had a good breakfast. It’s due to my addiction. I just couldn’t shake myself free, and get down to work.

And of course, as a Mom I also had the meals, laundry, helping kids with h.w. etc. sprinkled into the mix.

My addiction? Binge-watching everything on Netflix. To the point where Netflix could blackmail me by threatening to share my watch history with the world, because it’s so extensive, so eclectic.

In fact the other day I had to wonder if Netflix was throwing me some shade. It recommended a category, based on my recent viewing habits, called “Soapy International Dramas for Hopeless Romantics”!

I’ve always enjoyed watching foreign films, in the original language, but with English subtitles. I understand just enough French and Spanish to realize that a lot can be lost in translation. Low budget movies that have been dubbed into English are the worst.

I like to listen to the actors speaking in their own voices, to hear the tone and nuance. It is like a ladder to a window into another world, where I can experience the lifestyle of people who walk in wildly different shoes than mine. From the comfort of my own couch.

Last year I watched a few Turkish romantic drama series, and a strange thing started to happen. The Turkish responses for certain situations would come into my head, before I could answer in English – simple things like thank you, good night!

Anyway, I’ve also watched various shows and movies from India, Malaysia, Korea, Iceland as well as British, Scottish, Irish etc

When I was younger I used to love to curl up with a big book, the bigger the better because it lasted longer.

And it’s the same thing with watching a series, the characters become very familiar. And it’s like having company in the studio.

That’s how it works with shows in English. The problem is, you can’t watch a show with subtitles and paint at the same time.

So far during this challenge, I’ve been listening to podcasts while I paint. It was working great, but then this morning I was watching a Korean series and I just didn’t want to stop.

Eventually I compromised and put on a movie in English, and watched that while I painted. By the time it was over, I was deep into the painting, so I was able to carry on with nothing else playing in the background.

My plan for this week is to go to the library and pick up an audio book or two to try out.

Yeah, yeah, I know. First world studio problems.

DONNA GRANDIN

Tag Archives: yoga art

White flag – painting timelapse #13